miércoles, 13 de julio de 2011

El Enamoramiento

Cuando tenía 15 años tenía pocas inquietudes importantes en la vida. Montaña Rusa, las clases de teatro, con qué empresa nos iríamos de viaje de egresados, que me pongo el sábado para ir a la matinée y los chicos.
Pero a cada una de esas cosas le ponía una pasión inmensurable. Me desvivía por cada cosa como si fuera el último día en mi vida.
Luego a medida que me fui poniendo más grande, la llama se fue apagando cada vez un poquito más. Me fui comprando yo misma distintas rutinas en las que necesariamente cada tanto debo parar a revisar si es lo que quiero o lo que la inercia del día a día me va ofreciendo.
Pero hay algo que nunca me abandona: el enamoramiento.
Ese sentimiento de explosión en el pecho que te pone los cachetes colorados y te hace sudar las manos. Esa ansiedad que me hace actualizar los mails cada dos minutos, tener el celular delante de mis ojos y pasar 15 veces por delante de la máquina de café por si las dudas. Este sentimiento que hace que no me sea indiferente que ponerme a la mañana para ir a la oficina, me hace estar depilada y comprar tangas nuevas.
Y empiezo a identificar que este sentimiento de Enamoramiento es un motor necesario para darle color a mis días. A tal modo que me pregunto: es amor o es simplemente un mecanismo para mantener latente la pasión en mis días de rutina chata?

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